Sent to the Solihull Times

It appears that Con MEPs have been trying to raise MEP profile this week in an effort to answer the question “What do MEPs do?”

My information from an assistant was “Giles Chichester has trousered £500.000” and knowing him as leader of the Con group my first thought was that he must wear big trousers.

This sadly raised the expectations of my wife who frequently accompanies me to the Parliament but receives no money at all and pays her own travel. Womanly sarcasm such as “Can we afford a sandwich” spoiled my day.

I suppose wearing the “Big Con” title rather than “Tory” will not catch on, but now the image must be of MEPs wearing big trousers with huge pockets escorting wives dripping with pearls and diamonds.

The UKIP policy of making MEPs redundant and forcing MPs to, in three words, “Govern from Westminster” may look too simple I suppose?

Well the EU auditors will shortly reject the EU accounts for the 15th year and as our cost of EU membership exceeds £50 bn per year in fees, directive costs and contributions there must be plenty more for MEPs and wives.

Alternatively, we could stop MEPs wearing trousers.